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- I am 38
- I prefer:
- Hair color:
- I have got short scraggly golden hair
- In my spare time I love:
- Body piercings:
As we crossed the street toward the massage parlor -- after hitting the ATM for cash -- I almost wanted to turn back and forget we'd even had the idea in the first place.
You start thinking you're a complete scumbag for going to a massage parlor and getting tugged off. So, if you still feel the need to fulfill some fantasy you have of getting a massage and a free job, then all you need to do is find a spa that showers "table showers. We were each led to a separate massage room. We were greeted at the table desk and then shown to the locker room to put our things away and change into a robe. As time went on, my mind drifted to the "ending. First of all, my mind always races when I get high -- part of the reason I don't smoke anymore -- so naturally it was motoring at 10, miles a minute as we edged closer to our destination.
No, it wasn't like that scene in "Rush Hour 2" where Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan go to the "Heaven on Earth" massage parlor and get to pick from a lineup of 30 women.
Soothing music played in the background as I experienced a pretty pedestrian massage. At times, I could barely feel her hands and fingers on my skin. Unwilling to risk the unknown of going to just any massage parlor that's advertising table-shower service, we ventured to midtown Manhattan, to a spot my friend had ly visited and could vouch for. Too late for that.
We left our underwear on underneath. She repeated the phrase -- "table shower" -- and suddenly I found myself back at the front desk of the spa to pony up another fee.
Hotels near jade massage and table shower in medford, medford
Before I knew it, I was being rushed into a shower and sauna area, where I met my friend. She kept saying, "You're getting very sleepy," which, while weird, wasn't too far from the truth. But here we were, two single, stoned dudes kicking it on a Saturday night.
A little advice: Ask around and try and find some reviews so you don't blow your load -- and your cash -- on a sub-par performance. It was weird how we both ended up there at the same time, but I guess that's just how things work sometimes. We dressed in silence, and I couldn't help but feel a little cheap after the whole experience. By Anonymous. With her other hand, she lifted my hand and put it on her breast. But I digress. This was the advice my friend offered after we smoked a blunt and decided the only logical next move was to get massages and happy endings.
There seemed to be very little downside to the prospect of a good massage and a hand job. As nervous as I was about the whole thing, there was no way I was leaving with just a half-assed regular massage. Heck, I'd maybe only received one proper massage in my entire life.
Quality hydrotherapy, wet spa, wet equipment, vichy shower and wet tables.
I mean, it's not like you can look on Yelp and see which times are more popular to get a quickie. GreatI thought, the last thing I need is to get held up or something while trying to relax and get off. Why not try something different, right? It's not like this masseuse is my girlfriend, but I think all men feel inferior when they orgasm too quickly, no matter who we're with.
I was face down on the table, waiting for this woman's hands to start working my back. The sauna lasted only a few minutes.
As we ventured out, I couldn't help but be a little apprehensive about the whole thing. My masseuse pulled down my underwear and started going at it.
Several times. Soon enough, though, you start to care less about what other people might think and start wondering what'll happen if you finish too quickly.
What it's really like to get a handjob at a massage parlor
We entered the spa, which seemed surprisingly quiet for a Saturday night. We had smoked pot like two and a half hours ago. I don't know why, but you just do. I mean, who even does this? As you can tell from my buddy's words of wisdom, I had never been to massage parlor that offered the full-service package, if you know what I mean. As the massage ended, and my masseuse tried to usher me into the next room for an actual shower, I just started saying "table shower" over and over again.
She looked at me like I had three he, but somehow I knew she understood exactly what I was saying. I don't know if my friend could sense my trepidation or not, but he told me to relax. I was stoned, and my masseuse spoke very little English. I just assumed a weekend night might bring in more clientele.