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Do you ever look at your partner and feel disconnected both physically and emotionally? We all know that building a connection takes time and effort. It also requires a willingness to open up and be vulnerable with each other. We have two words for you: pillow talk.

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For example, someone with low desire may have been harbouring 20 years of resentment about something else.

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Here are some tips on how to make your sex talk as helpful, productive and enjoyable as you can. It removes performance anxiety, which is really distracting.

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Reuse this content. S ex is a life-affirming act, one of the most intimate things you can do with another person. Always say something positive — something your partner has done that you like, say — before you say something bad, says the FPA this applies to non-sex conversations too.

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Sharing our fantasies — whether we act on them or not — is an easy way to introduce novelty into our sex lives. Sex and intimacy: a user's guide Sex. Hannah Booth. Is talking about sex ever a bad idea?

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This will help build trust and intimacy. If you own your experience in this way, she says, it makes it harder to criticise the other person.

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So where do you start? It gives the other person useful feedback, as opposed to feeling nagged. Try to put yourself in their shoes, she says.

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How do you achieve this? Break the ice: watch an erotic film, have some wine — find something that gets the ball rolling. So much harder.

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But talking about it? It might be awkward at first, but opening up about your needs and desires can transform your relationship. People find it hard to share their sexual fantasies — in fact, only half of us have, says Lehmiller, who surveyed more than 4, people for his book, Tell Me What You Want.

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We are hardwired to think that our reality is the only one, and that other perspectives are wrong. And simply expressing them may be arousing enough.

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